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‘We the people R the man. Here’s how it rolls.’

July 11, 2009

The French Cowboy perfectly follows PJ O’Rourke’s reasoning behind his decision to twitter the Constitution:

Giving politicians a Twitter-ready version of the U.S. Constitution to send to voters in place of the politicians’ own thoughts will raise the tone of America’s political discourse while sparing us the pain and humiliation of learning anything more about our dreadful elected representatives, their idiot ideas, or their unwelcome whereabouts.

And voilà, Monsieur O’Rourke’s translation:

Pre-A: We the people R the man. Here’s how it rolls. Art1: Congress do law. Got Senate/House-o-Reps.

HR 2yr deal. Reps mst b 25, homie citz 7yrs. 1R per 30k pop/min 1R per St. St pop #s @10yrs. Guv pix subs. HR pix own bigs. HR impeaches Clinton.

Sen 6yr deal. 1/3 go @2yrs. 2Ss/St Mst b 30, homie citz 9yrs. VP tiebreaks. S gives Clinton a bye.

$ Bills fr H & pass S w/amends. Prez mst X or nix. 2/3H&S 2 nix nix

Cong power = Tax Mooch Tariff Green crd Chapt 11 Print $ Bust cons Pat pend Law up War on Hang pirates.

Cong power not = No habeas corp No x post facto law Free trade 4 Sts. Kings dukes for. poofters R bogus.

Sts pow not = For. treats Cust. duties @ other Sts. Go 2 war w/o say please

Art2: Prez 4yrs per Elec Col SAT score VP ditto VP subs. mst b nat born homie 35. Defnds Const & CnC Army Navy Air Force Marines

Prez pow = For. treats w 2/3S yes Appts Cabnt offs Ambs Sup Ct Js DoD brass w S yes Hi Cong Bye Cong St-o-Un add. No smoking.

Art3: Sup Ct rox Treason sux. Art4: Sts R cool Newbie Sts per Cong. Art5: Amend Con=2/3H&S+3/4Sts. Art6: US IOUs cool Const rox No God Squad

Art7: G2G TTFN. 9/17/1787. Bill-o-Rites TK 🙂

Flame on -church+guns. No GIs n cribz. No frisk w/o ProbCawz Due Pross rox Plea5th Get off my lawn SpeedTrialz w/jur&shystr. Pwr 2 D Peeps.

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